I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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