it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
