JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
