don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
