me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I could fuck to npr.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
