Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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