Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
