Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
