ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
