did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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