He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
