EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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