I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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