It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
