I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
