what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
