somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
we should paint friendship bongs
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
