ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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