pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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