I wannas sexs uuuuu
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
