well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
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