How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
