I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
