didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
