i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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