Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Never underestimate the power of titties
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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