yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
