our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
