I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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