so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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