he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
