yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
