This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize