I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
