I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
