My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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