in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
