there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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