She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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