I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
