didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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