i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I deserve this hangover.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
