So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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