I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
