Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
