hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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