Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
