so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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