I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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