so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
