the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The dick lei will go down in squad history
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize