If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
organizing the empties. That sober.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is Oprah even human
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
