I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
