Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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