He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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