shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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