it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
